What every raging child needs to hear - even if they're grown up and even if it's from themselves

"Why are you sad?"

"I'm sad with wondering what's happened to you to make you so angry. To make you so destructive of yourself and others and of the things which are important to you.

I know what it's like to bury all the hurt and the fear and be left with only anger because that's the thing which helps you survive; helps you feel that bit safer in a world full of danger.

But underneath, the fear is huge and threatens to overwhelm you on a daily basis. And the pain is so unbearable that you hide it from everyone for fear they will not be able to bear being around you - just as you cannot bear being with yourself.

And how it's impossible to trust anyone because you can't even trust the people who were supposed to care for you and you can't even trust yourself. But still you YEARN for there to be someone - anyone - that you can tell everything to and who will love you anyway. Your heart aches for a person you can love and who loves you in spite of all the rage in your heart, the fear in your belly and your soul full of pain.

And right now you hate me because you think I'm making you feel all these terrible things. But all I'm doing is saying what you're already feeling. And I'm saying that it's ok. That all the rage and shame and fear and loathing and disgust and pain and guilt is all there and waiting for you to be ready to feel it. And make no mistake, it has to be felt. And it's hard. Sometimes harder than anything else you can imagine, just to really feel what you are already feeling.

But I PROMISE you that it makes it better. I promise you that you come out the other side in the end. That you can find your way to joy, to love and even to trust again. Because that is who you were before you learned not to be.

You can learn to be yourself again.

And I will love you through it all."


Love to you,

Lyra ♥